Making Memories

Sign posted next to the playground by our campsite.

More than a year ago, after reading a book about camping, Abby told me that she wanted to go camping too. At the time I told her, "I'll see what we can do about that." In the back of my mind, I was really thinking, "there is no way I want any part of dragging Elise out to a campground and having to think about everything that would be involved in ensuring that she could safely "enjoy" this experience." What Abby asked for was in the back of my mind, but I really didn't consider it much at the time. Over the next several months I thought about it many times until coming to the realization that camping, for her, didn't have to include Elise as well. There was nothing wrong with her going camping without Elise. So, I made it my goal to take her camping!

I finally found a time that would work for us. We loaded our van and invited my brother Don to join us at one of the state parks at Tuttle Creek outside of Manhattan. On Friday night, we set up our tent, roasted hot dogs over an open fire, and hit the lake for some fishing time before calling it a night.

Walking to our first fishing spot

Fishing is a big part of many of my childhood memories and something that I really want to pass on to my kids. Like many parents, I often let life get in the way, and we just don't make the time for it that I would like to. It was one of my many goals to rectify that situation during our camping trip.

 Luckily for me, Abby loves to go fishing! She talks nonstop, doesn't sit still for long, and is always messing with her fishing pole. Generally, I don't mind any of it. I'm just glad to be sharing the time with her. In the week before we went camping, I heard many times on the radio, a song by Trace Adkins called "Just Fishin'". You can hear it here. As the song says many times, "she thinks we're just fishin'". I hope that someday she will have great memories of fishing much like I have with my brother and dad.

A rare picture sitting still

Our fishing spot for the first evening wasn't as productive as I had hoped for, but it seemed to please her just fine. It certainly provided Don and I a few opportunities to snap some photos at least. It wasn't too long after we started fishing and Don got his first bite. He was nice enough to convince Abby that he needed some help and got her to reel in his pole. The fruits of her labor was pulling in her first walleye of her young life. I'm not sure if she was smiling bigger or me, but it was pretty cool.

Her first walleye

Four fish later, we called it a night. Before going fishing, Uncle Don bet Abby that he would catch more fish and the loser had to buy ice cream. Not surprisingly, she won that bet (even if two of those fish were on his pole) and we had to stop for ice cream before returning to the campground. Abby spent a long time laying awake in the tent trying to figure out what each little noise was. She can be easily spooked and I wasn't sure how she would handle camping. But, she eventually settled in and got some good sleep. Much to my dismay though, she was bright eyed at 6 am when she wanted breakfast and to go back to fishing! Those were certainly 2 things high on my list for the day!

Caught all by herself!

I was surprised to learn, when I checked in to the campground, that they had a "free day" at the state park on Saturday and had lots of things planned for kids. I had a few things planned myself, and I really didn't want other events getting in our way. It turned out to be a good thing as we were able to supplement some of my plans by adding in some of their planned events. One Saturday, we enjoyed several hours of fishing in the morning followed by a stop at the shooting and archery range. The line turned out to be a bit too long for archery, but Abby really enjoyed learning to shoot a BB gun. There might be a future birthday idea in there!

She's not a bad shot

We followed up our shooting activity with a little time for her to play in the bounce house and caterpillar tunnel that they set up. She enjoyed the time to run and get out some of that pent up energy. Although, she was quickly becoming one tired little girl.

Ready to go swimming

After a short nap, Kelly and Elise joined Abby, Don, and I for some time on the beach. It has been an unseasonably cool summer around here. On Saturday, there was no sign of that unseasonably cool weather. It was HOT! A couple of hours at the beach was just what the doctor ordered. We enjoyed having Elise and Kelly join us. Don and I REALLY enjoyed the prolonged opportunity to stand in the cool water and feel a bit more refreshed. We finished our night off with some great chicken cooked over an open fire and of course we also had smores!

Worn out

Abby was so worn out she asked to go put on her pajamas by 9pm and she was asleep shortly after that time. It was a warm night, but a great night's sleep for everyone and helped us to go home on Sunday a bit more refreshed.

As I have thought back over the weekend, it was everything that I hoped it would be for her and me both. It was great quality and quantity time for both of us. She had my undivided attention and I had hers as well. She got to have some bonding time with her Uncle Don as well which was certainly an added bonus.

In the first picture above is the Kansas Children's Bill of Rights. I took a picture of a sign that was posted right next to the playground inside the campground. I was intrigued by many of the things that were listed and I was glad to see that we were accomplishing so many things on that list. It was great to disconnect from society even for just a little bit and immerse ourselves in our environment.

My ultimate goal of this trip was to spend some great time with Abby. The side benefits would be getting to take her fishing, sleeping under the stars, enjoying a nice time at the beach, and eating food cooked over an open fire. In the end, I wanted to make memories for both her and I. In the words of Trace Adkins, "I guarantee this memory's a biggin, and she thinks we're just fishin'." I look forward to doing this again someday. Abby is already planning our next trip.

For the record, I caught fish too! Abby enjoyed taking this picture.

A Glimpse Into Our Future

The last several years have been full of adjustments. Certainly, the last couple of months have been plenty full of their share of adjustment periods as well. We are in the midst of one of our newest adjustments now with both girls heading off to school in the mornings and Kelly heading off to work at the preschool. We didn't know what to expect, but it certainly hasn't been easy. For the first time in my working life, I am the last one out of the house. That has been quite a bit different in itself.

Abby came home from her first day of preschool with a scrapbook project that needed to be completed. She had a week to get it done and it certainly was nothing unreasonable. It was something that should be fun for her and fun for us. Her job was to select some photos of herself, her friends, her family, etc. to put onto the page to show some of her interests and hobbies. She could also use stickers, draw pictures, or whatever she wanted to communicate who she is. Unfortunately for her, her parents are sort of a disorganized mess and even getting off the ground was a chore. I thought it made the most logical sense for us to work on this right after dinner. We were all at the table already, we had a nice large clear space to put things out and this should be fun right????? Wrong!

To begin with, we have pictures everywhere! Now that we are part of the smart phone and tablet generation, we have things in multiple places and often times have no idea how to find any of it! I had some pictures on my phone and many pictures on Facebook that were not saved to my phone. Kelly had many pictures on her phone, some on Facebook, and even more on the iPad. Of course, we had to run all picture options past Abby. By the time she decided what photo she wanted, we had to go back and find it and usually couldn't remember where we had seen the picture in the first place. Once we found the picture then we had to decide whether to put them all together and have them printed somewhere (there weren't that many pictures) or try to print them on our new printer that only prints when it feels like it.

In the meantime Abby is talking a mile a minute, she is bored, wants to draw something, has bug bites, needs a kleenex, sure is thirsty, look there's a chicken.......Good grief! All the while, Elise is sitting at the table, having seizures, retching, and trying to get out of her chair to walk around. She is "confined" to her chair because her food pump is going but isn't working right. For some reason the pump has decided it doesn't like the new diet she is on and decides to alarm every 15 seconds. For two hours straight! Now, two days in a row! This is no exaggeration. Her 45ish minute feeding took more than 2 hours! Another good grief!!!! By the time we were done, about 8:30, Abby's project was mostly done (we still have another day to work on it), we were 30 minutes past bedtime, Elise's food was STILL not done. I was looking for a "Calgone take me away" moment. Honestly, I would have settled for anything take me away!

As I was sitting with Elise getting her ready for bed I began to wonder, is this what our future holds? Do we really have years of sitting at the table helping Abby with her homework while we have to stop every 15 seconds to deal with some medical issue for Elise? Like everything, I suppose we will get accustomed to it, but I sure don't like it! I don't like that we can't give Abby our undivided attention, I don't like that we can't give Elise our undivided attention, and I really don't like that we can't even give ourselves our undivided attention! But, this too will become "normal" over time.

As I was looking for a book to read with Elise before bed I came across a book that my parents had given our girls a couple of years ago. It is a recorded book that my mom insisted on them having. Her and my dad were not big readers, and I don't know that I ever recall them reading to our kids. But, they now have a recorded book of both of my parents reading this story to them. They will never grow up to know them, but they will at least get the joy of having them read this story to them. As I listened to the book it certainly helped to calm my nerves and I believe that Elise enjoyed it quite a bit as well. I know that my parents would have liked to know that they could help in some small way, and tonight they did just that for me. I just hope the book lasts. We have a lot of years of homework ahead of us!

In Only Seven Short Years

My first picture with Elise

August 16th marks Elise's 7th birthday. What an amazing, terrifying, and humbling ride it has been! I recently had the thought that I would write this post, but had no idea the true difficulty it would give me. There have been a lot of good and a lot of bad in that seven year journey. There are no guides to help us as parents maneuver these waters, and each day brings new surprises in one way or another. After combing through the photos several things have been pretty evident to me. 1) We sure looked a lot younger only 7 years ago. 2) There was a lot less grey hair then as well. 3) There were no shortage of pictures with people smiling. I believe #3 is the most important in all of this. No matter if the day has given us lemons or lemonade, Elise has always found a way to bring a smile to our face and left us in awe of the things she has been capable of.

Elise opening a present on her 1st birthday

Elise has always been inquisitive and persistent. We have come to appreciate her persistence in ways we didn't even know were possible. From the beginning she would focus all of her energy on a task and continue with it until she could figure out how to do it. She was rarely frustrated, but always determined!

Finishing off some cake on her 2nd birthday

Fortunately for us, we never really experienced the "terrible 2's" with Elise. She was always up for being a bit ornery, but well short of terrible. As you can see by that smile, she was always planning something to push the boundaries a little bit.

Elise sitting on her Tinkerbell couch for her 3rd birthday

Little did we know, her 3rd birthday was the start of one of her most difficult years. She got to "enjoy" her 3rd birthday in the local hospital. She was experiencing some odd and unexplainable symptoms that would later turn out to be leukemia. As you can tell from the bandage on her arm, she had just been released from the hospital the day this was taken. That didn't keep her from putting on a big smile as she opened her gifts!

Celebrating her 4th birthday

A lot less hair, but a lot more to be thankful for on birthday number 4. There were many times over that year when we weren't sure she was going to make it to this day. But when she did, it was certainly cause to celebrate!

Elise on her 5th birthday

Many more challenges in year #4, but we were impressed by some of the progress that was made in that year as well. This was the year that seizures began to show and we learned that she would need to "medically accessorize" with the cool pink helmet.

Making a mess for birthday # 6

Elise didn't have much interest in eating this year, but she was always up for making a mess! Kelly spent a long time working on some special cupcakes that she could eat being on the Ketogenic diet for seizures. The diet didn't work and unfortunately, the cupcakes weren't much of a hit with Elise either.

Now, as another year has passed, I can look back and see the many changes that have taken place over the year. Some are so subtle that we barely even notice them until looking back at pictures and events, and some are evident to us every time we go out into the world for whatever the day happens to bring us. As you can see from the pictures above, the one constant in each picture was the smile on her face, and the smile on the faces of those around her. With all she has faced, if she can still look life in the eye and smile, there is no reason that we can't do the same. She has taught us that each day can be tough, but we still need to get up, put a smile on our face, and find someone who needs to have a little ray of sunshine in their lives. I look forward to seeing that smiling face in the morning and am glad that I have that little ray of sunshine each day.

Happy 7th birthday Elise! I can only hope that she truly knows how much her parents love her.