Leaving Their Impact on Their Family

My mom ca. 1985

As we look to celebrate mother's day I have been reflecting on the mothers that have most directly affected my life. Whether I can see them on mother's day or not, they have all made some kind of impact on my life in their own unique way.

Sadly, my mom passed away a little over two years ago. It seems like it was just a few months ago when I was last talking with her. I was very blessed to spend the majority of her last two weeks with her. While she was in KU med center I went to visit her every day and we would talk about anything and everything under the sun. I believed when she left KC that day that I would never see her alive again. She was at peace, and I believe I was too.

During my childhood, Mom didn't miss a game, a concert, a parent teacher conference, or any other event that I was involved in. She cooked almost every meal, did every dish, worked a full time job, and ensured that our house was running smoothly at all times. She was always up early getting everything ready for everyone else first thing in the morning. She was always quick to cry, but even quicker to laugh. She was always concerned with helping everyone else. As I have said before, many of my best qualities I get from my mom. I miss her every day and always wish there was time for one more hug or I love you.

Kelly's mom Sue and dad Dennis ca. 2012

In 1995 I met the people that would become my second set of parents and my other "mom". For some reason, I have never been able to call my in-laws mom and dad. It is certainly not out of a lack of love or respect, but it just isn't something that comes easy to me. So, I don't do it.

Sue was always a tough person for me to read (and I'm sure she probably would say the same thing), but I always enjoyed the challenge. Her love for her family and ornery sense of humor where evident from the beginning though. Over the years I have come to appreciate her insight and support of our family. She isn't as tough to read nowadays though. Once we began bringing those grand babies into the world priorities shifted for everyone. Suddenly challenging me wasn't as important!

Her crafty nature is amazing to me. Her ability to whip up the materials and ideas for a quick project is always impressive. Her creative spirit has certainly influenced my wife and has been influencing my own kids over the past several years as well. With my own mother gone now, I look forward to many more years of having Sue in our family life and in the life of our kids.

Kelly and I in Las Vegas in January 2013

I am blessed to have my wife and mother of my children in my life as well. She is head caretaker, chef, maid, laundry woman, nurse, medical transcriptionist, biblical scholar, counselor, seamstress and many other things. She is truly amazing. She is patient, kind, loving, and a teacher at heart in almost everything she does with our kids. Most motherhood struggles are challenging enough, but navigating the path of a child with special needs take a different kind of person that is willing to sacrifice unconditionally. Kelly has devoted herself to that kind of sacrifice and it has been inspiring to many, including myself.

As I watched her and Abby plant flowers together today I just smiled at how alike the two of them are. Kelly was in her element playing in the dirt. Abby was working along looking just like her mother. Kneeling pad on the ground, little garden gloves on, dirt on her head, and a smile on her face. They were just alike! As I watched Kelly laying in bed with Elise tonight I was in awe of how different it is for fathers and mothers. The connection between mother and child is different, and there isn't anything that I can do as a father to have that same connection. After a day of feeling crummy, Elise snuggled right in to Kelly and was asleep in minutes. I had been trying to do that for hours! There is no substitute for having your mother close to you.

I am thankful to have experienced the motherly impact of these three great ladies. What a journey it has been from being mothered as a child, to watching my wife guide and form my own kids on a daily basis. It is not an easy path, but definitely one of the most noble and rewarding. Thank you each for the impact you have had on my life.