Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Blessing of Cancer?

I was recently introduced to a video that captivated my attention. It had some pretty profound statements that I have only heard come from other people that have been personally affected by having cancer in their life. Whether you are an adult with cancer, a child with cancer, or a caregiver of someone with cancer, your life has been so drastically and eternally altered that most people just can't comprehend.

Zach Sobiech, an 18 year old young man from Minnesota passed away this week after battling cancer for several years. After being given only another year to live, Zach did several things that are going to leave a lifetime of memories for his family and friends. One of the "legacies" he left behind, was a song that he wrote and recorded called "Clouds". Click the link to watch a video of the song. In addition, a great video was put together as a tribute to his family and those that have most closely affected his life. It's a pretty lengthy video, but certainly worth the time. Grab a few tissues and check it out here. It is particularly powerful near the end of the video when he tells his family members, one at a time, what they have meant to him. Amazing stuff! We should all learn that you don't have to be dieing to do something like this.

In the video, incidentally titled "My Last Days", there were several profound statements. Several amazing things had previously taken place in the video. Many of those things sparked the first statement when someone told him, "This stuffs not happening because you are dying. It is really because of the way you're living." I can't think of one cancer family, that I have come in contact with, that hasn't heard a similar statement said to them as well. As often happens in cancer families, very generous people come out of the woodwork to provide meals, money, special memories, and much needed emotional relief. The reason, I think, is mostly due to the second profound statement in the video. "That's one of the blessings of cancer. You kind of come out of denial. In doing that, things are better. Life is richer, everything means more, and beauty is more beautiful." We spend so much time being devoted to our day to day life that we become too accustomed to our surroundings. If you are like me, you probably take almost everything for granted. Until, one day, something happens to change your perspective.

As I think of the struggles so many families are facing with the terrible tornadoes that hit Oklahoma yesterday, I am acutely aware that it isn't just cancer that can deeply impact a persons life. Tragic circumstances often bring out the best and worst in people. Fortunately, there are so many great things that come out of tragic circumstances that we are able to more easily see past those that have brought forward the worst aspect of humankind.

I don't know that someone can be truly prepared for the worst possible circumstances in life. Looking back at my life, I know that I have made some pretty drastic changes to the way I handle myself and interact with others since experiencing cancer with Elise. It's not a matter of judgement of my "old" self, or how I think I am expected to present myself. Rather, it is a choice to see that life truly is richer, means more, and everything is more beautiful. We all slip from that view sometimes, but I try not to make that slip a habit.

"Life is really beautiful moments. One right after the other. It's really simple actually. Just try and make people happy!" - Zach Sobiech - 2013

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