A Tribute to the One I Love

Kelly and I in Las Vegas in January.

We have never been big into celebrating Valentine's Day. Our wedding anniversary is a couple of weeks after Christmas, and Valentine's Day is just a little over a month later. It was just never that important to us to have one more day that we needed to buy a gift for. It was a mutual agreement many years ago. For the most part, we haven't strayed from that agreement in the 18+ years we have been together.

This year isn't going to be any different. Every kiss isn't going "Begin with Kay" in my house. No shiny packages, and no flowers that are three times their normal price either. I'm sure she won't be disappointed. Just because there will be no exchange of gifts doesn't mean we love each other any less. I would say quite the contrary.

Anybody that really knows my wife knows she is an extraordinary person. Before Abby was born she was a fantastic elementary music teacher, a caring mother to Elise, and a great wife to me. Shortly after Abby was born she decided to leave her career behind and stay home to raise our girls. It appeared to be one of the easiest decisions of her life. She gave up all she had and was professionally, for the opportunity to gain more personally. Unfortunately only a little more than 3 months after the next school year started, Elise was diagnosed with leukemia. Suddenly, she had a whole new role.

While Elise was in the hospital, Kelly stayed with her almost every night over the 8 months of treatment. Elise was only home a total of 30 days in 8 months. I stayed with Elise as I could when I was able to be in Kansas City overnight, but Kelly certainly put in the brunt of the work. She became a huge advocate for Elise's care and continues to still be the voice for what Elise needs and wants today. It is no small task. She has managed to raise our girls, mostly alone, over the past 14 months as we have lived in 2 different cities and I am only home on weekends. She doesn't complain, she doesn't feel sorry for herself (other than the occasional ice cream pity party), and she doesn't want anyone feeling sorry for her either. She is strong. Stronger than I ever thought.

My girls at the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial

Over the past couple of years, she has become a student of everything involving the brain, cancer, seizures, and special needs involving children. She has devoted herself to reading and studying the bible and raising our girls following the biblical principals that we both believe are extremely important. People usually ask me, "How does she find time to get everything done?" Generally I respond in two ways. 1) Fortunately, she doesn't require much sleep. 2) I don't know how she does it. She just does.

Maybe she is able to accomplish everything because our house is not pristine like Cinderella's castle. Maybe it is because she isn't able to work on the perfect tan all summer long. I really think it is because she has devoted herself to everything that she "has" to do, and has put the majority of the things that she "wants" to do on the back burner. The house will get cleaned another day and we will both be just as white at the end of next summer as we are today. But, that just doesn't matter to either of us.

I like that she is really such a simple person. She loves to dress up and be "out on the town", but those opportunities don't arise too often. She is okay with running errands in sweats, hair a little out of place, some random sticky goo on her clothes from a kids hand or other body part, and it really doesn't matter if other people are staring. Chances are they are just intrigued by the helmet and have missed the out of place hair and the sticky goo anyways.

This Valentine's Day, there won't be any special gifts, but there will be lots of thank you's for all you do and I love you's. For now the blog will have to do. I can deliver the rest in person when I get home on Friday. I love you Kelly, and Happy Valentine's Day to you all.