"Are There Suitable Homes for Her", he asked.

Last weekend my family and I decided to make a trek to a local furniture store. As we walked around our second store I noticed that one of the employees, who turned out to be the owner, was occasionally intently watching us. As we frequently do, Kelly and I took turns walking with Elise through various sections. When we were finished they began to walk toward the door and said they would meet Abby and I outside. The owner of the store was talking with me and trying to provide a little gentle pressure to buy something before we left. Seeing that I had no intention of buying anything he politely asked, in the best way he could muster, what exactly was "wrong" with Elise.

This was not a new experience for me, and generally, I am no longer bothered when somebody asks. I am aware, it is pretty obvious when you look at her, that she experiences life in an "unusual" way. In my well rehearsed 30 second elevator speech I gave him Elise's abbreviated life story. To which he responded in the usual way about how that is "unfortunate", "sad", and that he was "sorry to hear that". Following that he asked me something that I have never had somebody ask me. Others in my extended family have experienced this question, but nobody that lives in my house.

As innocently as possible he asked, "Are there suitable homes for her to live in?" Don't get this message wrong. I was not, and am not, offended by that question. I know that is an acceptable answer for some, and I will not judge them for that. But, in our house that is not an option. She already lives in a suitable home with her mom, dad, and sister. It is not always easy, many days we might even say it is never easy, but she is in a suitable home where she is able to thrive to the best of her ability. In our country we have vast opportunities for assistance, particularly while living in a metropolitan area like Kansas City. There are opportunities for home care assistance, respite care, medical assistance, you name it. We do not need or take advantage of all that is available, but it is available for the families with more severe needs than ours.

While there are many nights we would LOVE to be able to sleep more, I cannot imagine knowing that she was living somewhere else, waking them up at 4am and laughing like crazy like she does to us. If we are going to be up, we might as well have someone to laugh with! Ironically, later that night, Kelly and I watched a video, produced by the K-State College of Education, where they visited Tanzania and participated in educating teachers and home supervisors of orphanages, schools, and group homes for children with special needs. Many of those kids lived full time in some type of facility. I certainly don't judge them either. How would one know if the child living in a home was one of several in the family with disabilities, or if there was a single parent at home taking care of multiple kids and not able to handle the care of their child with a disability. You just never know the road that someone else is truly traveling and the reasons behind the decisions they make. If you look at Elise's face in the snowy picture I think you would agree that she looks pretty happy. We never know what the future holds, but for now, she is in a perfectly suitable home and we intend to keep it that way.

Last week, another parent of a child with special needs sent me a video clip of a new song by a women named Jennifer Shaw. She is a singer, songwriter, worship leader, and mother of a child with special needs. One of her newest songs is titled "Your Child". I thought this song hit the nail on the head about as close as any I have heard. I hope you will enjoy it too. If you are interested in listening to it, click on the video to the right.