When walking into a men's restroom today I was reminded of one of my biggest pet peeves in the world. Why is it that we have to be so connected to everything in society at all times. I was at a local establishment for lunch, walked in to the restroom, and there stood another gentleman at the urinal with headphones on listening to something really important. At every "nice" hotel I have stayed at in the past year there has been a telephone in the bathroom. Why???? Is there really anyone that important? President's of powerful nations and CEO's of about any company have assistants that can handle most matters. Can a person not even get two minutes of peace?
At what point did we determine that we were so important that we must be reached at all times? Twelve years ago, Kelly and I went on our honeymoon to a remote cabin, owned by one of her family members, along Lake Huron in Michigan. There was no phone, no Internet, no television, and only a 1960's record player in the house. It was the most relaxing time I can remember in my life! At that point in our life, we probably didn't even have cell phones. I can tell you, if we did, they likely didn't work in that part of the state. Today, that would be "unacceptable customer service". We enjoyed time on the beach, laying in the sun, grilling on the back deck overlooking the lake, and never once did someone "need" us. We called our home every 2-3 days, using a pay phone, to check our voice mail messages to see if anything urgent had taken place.
We learned during one of those calls that I had made a mistake in our checkbook and accidentally listed something as a deposit rather than a payment. It was a rather big error. Our bank called us to let us know we were in bad shape. I returned their call, we talked through our account, I realized my mistake, and the bank said, "Don't worry about it. We will cover you until you get home then we will get this straightened out." A couple weeks later, when we returned home, we visited the bank, got our problem sorted out and there was very little harm done. There was no vacation stress, no need to research everything online, or be on the phone for hours determining how to make this right. Was it really an emergency? We didn't think so, and the bank didn't either.
I see the value in cell phones. I have gone through a child being deathly ill. Kelly lost her Grandmother when we were returning from North Dakota and we didn't learn until later that evening when we arrived at a hotel and checked in. I lost my father this summer while I was on vacation in Michigan. I don't think the sense of sadness was any less for Kelly learning that her grandmother has passed away earlier that day than there was for me learning that my father had just passed away a few minutes ago. In the long run, did it matter if it took a couple of minutes or a couple of hours to reach me?
When I used to run the C.L. Hoover Opera House, I carried a work provided Blackberry. I actually liked that thing, but the problem was I was always expected to be available. If an e-mail wasn't answered at 10pm, or a response wasn't given within a few minutes during the daytime, there was always someone that had to be answered to. Shortly before losing that job, our family went on vacation. It was obvious the end was near for that position, and there was nothing I could do to save it. I told my closest co-workers to call me if they needed anything and I would check my phone once per day. I turned off the e-mail feature and "disconnected" from work. It was one of the most liberating experiences I can remember. What if I had spent my whole vacation answering e-mails and phone calls only to lose my job upon return? I'll never have to worry about that. I chose to be disconnected. This year, the week between Christmas and New Year's my office was closed. I took that time to step away from the computer completely. Most days I didn't even turn on my computer. I didn't check my personal e-mail, I only checked work e-mail once and that was because a task was due, and I didn't even check Facebook every day! Unheard of!!! That was another of the most relaxing times that I can remember.
If you have traveled in the past couple of years you have seen the droves of people on their laptops, iPads, and cell phones doing business until the last possible moment and throughout the flight. While recently delayed on a flight, I even witnessed an irate passenger trying to book a different flight on his phone while we were sitting delayed at the gate. Eventually he got so mad he just got off the plane. He didn't have an emergency, he just wanted to get home! If you have attended a conference you might have been amazed at all of the people posting to social media about the event, or even playing solitaire while the keynote speaker is addressing the crowd! Don't even get me started about watching TV and the non-stop ads at the bottom of the screen or the scrolling bar at the bottom of every sporting event. I miss the days when I had to wait until they showed score updates every 20 minutes!
It is hard to disconnect in our fast paced society. It is hard to turn your phone off and be unavailable or to leave your computer alone and not return e-mails or check Facebook. Today, I finally stepped into the world of smartphones. I can only hope that I can heed my own advice and remember to disconnect. You don't just owe it to those that love you. You owe it to yourself too!
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